Between dream & reality

So these days I’m still in my self-created long vacation since I left my last job in mid-August, traveled for a month in Europe and back home for another month. I have been looking for a new job. To be honest, not in a hurry way. I was determined to find a “job” I really like. Then, now I am not so sure if such thing exists.

People in Hong Kong are extremely workaholic (99% at least). Taking a month off for traveling and leaving a job without securing another one makes me look like an idiot or a crazy person in their eyes. In this self-created holiday, I have been constantly asking myself. Why does “work” and “vacation” are made opposite to each other? Can’t we have a life without “work”?

What defines us? Is that what we do for a living? How much we earn? What we wear? If these do not matter, what does? I know I sound like a lost teenager wondering what life is about. I should have been through this process years ago but unfortunately I am still struggling in this. Between the life I want and the life I can get, the gap is wide, dark & mysterious.

Some people choose to make work as a mean to get enough money to do what they really like. That was what I used to do and I found it was extremely painful to do a job that I don’t enjoy. It’s self-torture.

The other day I was watching a TV programme about a young man who was born with skin cancer and who has moles all over his face & body. He was diagnosed of not possible to live for long but now he is 30. He published a book about his life and he just held his pre-death funeral where his family and friends were invited to his own farewell. He said during the interview, “every life has a purpose, and the purpose of my life is to use my life story to tell the world that no one should be abandoned. That is my dream and I am now achieving it.”
Life story of Chan Wai Lam – My Funeral before Death

My dreams are so like nothing when compared to his. I guess I’m just another shallow and materialist human being on the Earth. When I was small, I want to be a writer and write a book one day. Now traveling around the world has become another dream of mine.

Between dream and reality, what shall I do?